How do you see yourself??

St. Joseph's Girls - Facilities - Higher Sceondary School-Calicut,Kerala,India,English Medium,State Syllabus
I went to India in July,2010.I had great expectations of getting affirmation from friends and loved ones!I had a very stressful pregnancy and an adventurous time with my Primi Baby!Sleepless nights...become a habit now as I cried out to God to keep me awake at night as my baby being pre_term had to breast fed every hour!I was so exhausted after my LSCS and Bleeding due to Placentia Praevia rendering me anaemic!One night while feeding,I fell asleep...Later to wake up hearing a ;thud' !my Baby Primi' fell off my hands on the ground!The panic that followed!..she had been just discharged following complications related to becoming hypothermic..the day she was rooming in with me the day before discharge.I t was heartbreaking as I got discharged from Hospital and baby continued another 2 weeks in NICU!.
   So I had great expectations about my Trip to India...REST!To my utter dismay,I hardly stayed in one place!moved almost every three days ?with two small children..as in India everybody expects yo to pay a personal visit to their homes..expect gifts from you..expect you to pay exhorbitant TIPs to their drivers and servants as you are USA branded!!?...Physical stress+emotional stress+financial stress!My twin paid our air fare!My mother covered my expenses towards gifts and TIPS!She had bought 'GIFTS 'in advance for everyone so that I could make a 'show'!I hardly had time to shop for gifts as we travelled to India immediately after shifting From Texas to Connecticut!I was relieved when my Loved one came for three days to attend my brother's wedding!!.....We had to field questions as to why he came?.Isn't it a.waste of moneyX3days????Why have you[me] become so lazy..not pursuing education?Don't you trust God?What will you do if your husband becomes disabled or....????At the end of two months I returned to America ..literally stressed out!.....................Thankful to my parents,my grandmothers,aunts and uncles,who instilled values in me!!..most important to call upon a Faithful God in times of distress.I can tell you God speaks through dreams!My 6th grade teacher Mrs Yvette D'Souza,whom I highly esteem had a dream about me.!She got in touch with my brother after many years and asked for my phone number!I immediately got in touch with her.She knows my educational background!She never asked me a'thing'about my' latest accomplishments'!?She made me feel so wanted when I was in a faraway land!What more do you need if you have a Faithful God,loving Family.and Loving teachers who believe in you when you 'DO NOTHING'!according to the WORLD !!